Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A New Enemy Emerges

I had my final showdown with Best Buy last night about my laptop (that after $120 and six weeks, is STILL not working at all).

Needless to say, it did not go well.

I literally stewed like a cartoon villain for the entire evening, had angry dreams all night long, and was prepared to let the entire ordeal ruin today as well but then it finally hit me this morning:

Ever since I left the Hampton Roads area of Virginia, I have not had the pleasure of having a proper archenemy in my life.

For the past seven months I’ve had something fun and interesting to do whenever I want, the weather is perfect all of the time, and there is no Good Ol’ Boy, short-sighted local media anywhere to be found. My life has been getting a little good for comfort and I’ve forgotten how much I thrive on having a nemesis.

Thank you Best Buy!

Basically here is how the exchange between me and the kid behind the counter went last night:

KID: So you need another hard drive and we can do that for you for another $80-$200 dollars.

ME: Why am I going to pay you any more money when I still don’t know what service I received for my original $120?

KID: Well we did fix the original problem, but apparently the hard drive passed our initial testing so this is a new problem.

ME: How did you fix the original problem when the machine still doesn’t turn on and now you’ve deleted my documents and pictures and shuts off whenever it wants to and no longer plays DVDs?

KID: That’s because the hard drive is now failing. I’m willing to waive the service charge for this new repair but you will still have to pay for the actual hard drive.

ME: It took you six weeks and $120 for you to not only not fix my original problem but add four new ones. I hope that you can understand that my faith in your ability to diagnosis and correctly fix the problem is an all-time low.

We went round and round for a few more minutes before I realized that it just wasn’t worth it anymore. I finally realized that I would rather have a broken laptop than give them another nickel to try and repair it. The kid was somewhat shocked when I finally just asked for my laptop and turned on my heel and walked out of Best Buy for the last time (My poor FiancĂ© – we’re not even married yet, and there’s ALREADY a store she’s not allowed to patronize. She’s only got a week left to come to her senses).

As I was stewing last night, I was so frustrated that I actually came up with a few other things that I would rather do than ever shop at another Best Buy store (my Twitter followers were able to enjoy this misery last night).

Going to go back to my comedy roots, let's do this list “Late Show” Top 10 style. So without further ado, here are my TOP 10 THINGS I WOULD RATHER DO THAN EVER SPEND ANOTHER DIME AT A BEST BUY:

10. I would rather watch Kobe and the Lakers 10-peat before I give any more money to Best Buy.

9. I would pursue a career in journalism before I ever step foot in another Best Buy (thanks to Michelle for that one!)

8. I would follow Custer back up to Little Big Horn before I make a purchase at Best Buy.

7. You will find me sitting through a "Two and a Half Men" marathon before you find me in a Best Buy

6. I would buy two tickets for a trip on the Titanic before I shop at Best Buy ever again.

5. I would trust my life with Judas Iscariot before I trust another Best Buy.

4. I would rather get a physical from Dr. Jack Kevorkian than get something fixed at Best Buy.

3. I would rather be Abe Lincoln picking up tickets at the Ford Theater than pay for another repair at Best Buy (thank you "Frasier"!).

2. I would work at Dish Network again before - Whoa, whoa! I can't even commit to that one.

And the number one thing I would rather do than EVER spend another dime at a Best Buy:

1. I would live in VIRGINIA again.

Thank you! Thank you!

I would say "I'm here all week", but then again, I don't have a laptop anymore. Who knows when I will be able to post again.

Thank you Best Buy, indeed.


Aarron said...

haha, #2 killed me man. i just busted out laughing and everyone looked at me like i'm an idiot.

Bert said...

I will get to the bottom of your problem. I have a person who is in the PR department and I think he needs to read your BLOG

Katie said...

now i know what to get you as a wedding present...hehehe...a best buy gift card-- is that just too cruel?

Anonymous said...

Like a proud papa, I can't help but say that I am sitting here gleaming with the knowledge that you have appropriately made the consumer giant that is "Best Buy" feel shame and ridicule by not only a refusal to pay for said repair but also have vowed a verbal war against the Goliath of consumer electronics. I came close to suggesting a similar course of action to which you vowed a few days ago but decided to allow you to fight this battle on your own. I think you have delivered a decisive blow!

Very few people recognize the effectiveness of disgruntled rumblings spewing from the mouths of highly influential individuals such as ourselves. Yet we know the power of exaggerated truths that detail the corruption of the consumer based companies hiding behind their nanoscopic fine print and 20 paged documents which are aimed at delightfully dissuading future participation in the capitalistic adventure. Such is the very rationale for the Castelow family ban of business such as Cracker Barrell and Dunkin Donoughts. I will stand with you in solidarity and help carry the mob – like torch of dissatisfaction against the evil villain.