A New Enemy Emerges

I had my final showdown with Best Buy last night about my laptop (that after $120 and six weeks, is STILL not working at all).

Needless to say, it did not go well.

I literally stewed like a cartoon villain for the entire evening, had angry dreams all night long, and was prepared to let the entire ordeal ruin today as well but then it finally hit me this morning:

Ever since I left the Hampton Roads area of Virginia, I have not had the pleasure of having a proper archenemy in my life.

For the past seven months I’ve had something fun and interesting to do whenever I want, the weather is perfect all of the time, and there is no Good Ol’ Boy, short-sighted local media anywhere to be found. My life has been getting a little good for comfort and I’ve forgotten how much I thrive on having a nemesis.

Thank you Best Buy!

Basically here is how the exchange between me and the kid behind the counter went last night:

KID: So you need another hard drive and we can do that for you for another $80-$200 dollars.

ME: Why am I going to pay you any more money when I still don’t know what service I received for my original $120?

KID: Well we did fix the original problem, but apparently the hard drive passed our initial testing so this is a new problem.

ME: How did you fix the original problem when the machine still doesn’t turn on and now you’ve deleted my documents and pictures and shuts off whenever it wants to and no longer plays DVDs?

KID: That’s because the hard drive is now failing. I’m willing to waive the service charge for this new repair but you will still have to pay for the actual hard drive.

ME: It took you six weeks and $120 for you to not only not fix my original problem but add four new ones. I hope that you can understand that my faith in your ability to diagnosis and correctly fix the problem is an all-time low.

We went round and round for a few more minutes before I realized that it just wasn’t worth it anymore. I finally realized that I would rather have a broken laptop than give them another nickel to try and repair it. The kid was somewhat shocked when I finally just asked for my laptop and turned on my heel and walked out of Best Buy for the last time (My poor Fiancé – we’re not even married yet, and there’s ALREADY a store she’s not allowed to patronize. She’s only got a week left to come to her senses).

As I was stewing last night, I was so frustrated that I actually came up with a few other things that I would rather do than ever shop at another Best Buy store (my Twitter followers were able to enjoy this misery last night).

Going to go back to my comedy roots, let's do this list “Late Show” Top 10 style. So without further ado, here are my TOP 10 THINGS I WOULD RATHER DO THAN EVER SPEND ANOTHER DIME AT A BEST BUY:

10. I would rather watch Kobe and the Lakers 10-peat before I give any more money to Best Buy.

9. I would pursue a career in journalism before I ever step foot in another Best Buy (thanks to Michelle for that one!)

8. I would follow Custer back up to Little Big Horn before I make a purchase at Best Buy.

7. You will find me sitting through a "Two and a Half Men" marathon before you find me in a Best Buy

6. I would buy two tickets for a trip on the Titanic before I shop at Best Buy ever again.

5. I would trust my life with Judas Iscariot before I trust another Best Buy.

4. I would rather get a physical from Dr. Jack Kevorkian than get something fixed at Best Buy.

3. I would rather be Abe Lincoln picking up tickets at the Ford Theater than pay for another repair at Best Buy (thank you "Frasier"!).

2. I would work at Dish Network again before - Whoa, whoa! I can't even commit to that one.

And the number one thing I would rather do than EVER spend another dime at a Best Buy:

1. I would live in VIRGINIA again.

Thank you! Thank you!

I would say "I'm here all week", but then again, I don't have a laptop anymore. Who knows when I will be able to post again.

Thank you Best Buy, indeed.