Mahler's Mondays: Kicking Off the Starz Denver Film Festival

I've only been writing for INDenverTimes for a month now and my life is already 36% cooler. I have the weekly column that I've always dreamed about, I get to write about fantasy football on Fridays, and starting in December, I will be writing more about the ins-and-outs of what's going on in the television industry (believe me, I was doing all of this already. Now I just get to do it for a real website).

That's not to mention that after my Denim Dilemma column a few weeks ago, Lee Jeans contacted me and asked if I would try out their jeans if they sent me a few pairs... for free!

(So basically get ready for a string of new columns about other products I'm having "problems" with in the near future.)

But the coolest thing that has happened so far was an opportunity that presented itself the very first day I was posted on this site. I received an e-mail from a representative with the upcoming 32nd Annual Denver Film Festival asking if I, or anyone from the site, would be interested in the covering the event for INDenverTimes.

Since this was my first day and all, I immediately thought that the site would have someone that was better equipped for this kind of undertaking, so I forwarded the e-mail along to my editor. He responded saying the job was mine if I wanted it and I didn't think twice.

(For the rest of time, I will never know why the Film Festival representative contacted ME. In that first post, the only movie I mentioned was a quick Back to the Future: Part II reference and then proceeded to blab about cell phones and laptops. There wasn't anything in particular that was screaming, "I'm your guy!", but hey, I'll take it.)

Now in this moment, I felt like Big Shot Bob (three quick points: (1) sorry, but I'm still completely engrossed in Bill Simmons' Book of Basketball right now so expect a bunch of historical NBA references for the next few weeks. (2) Why NOT pay tribute to Robert Horry whenever possible? (3) As we move into the 2010s, can't we all just agree to replace "Mr. Big Shot" with "Big Shot Bob"? They both mean the exact same thing and giving Mr. Big Shot an actual name - "Bob" - just feels more 2010ish. Thoughts?). I started texting and calling all of my friends and family and in that moment, I felt totally justified for packing up the Camel back in January and moving to a brand new city with no real connections or a clue of what I was going to do once I got here.

But then a wave of terror crashed over me as I went to the Film Festival's website. I suddenly realized the magnitude of just how legit this festival is (I'm from a small town in Virginia, remember?) and more importantly, I had no earthly idea how to cover ANY film festival, let alone a prestigious one being held in one of the nation's top 25 largest cities.

Yikes.

I'm not going to lie, there was a little sweat, some dry heaves, and I may or may not have blacked out for a while (I honestly don't remember). But then I pulled it together and reminded myself that this is exactly why my Wife and I moved out here and this was the type of opportunity I've been chasing for the past few years.

Last week, I went to a Film Festival media-only event downtown to hopefully get some more information about the event and get a better idea of what I was getting myself into. I noticed a couple of obvious facts instantly. First of all, this Festival is going to be pretty cool and will feature some quality films that are getting some big-time buzz across the country (more on that tomorrow). Second, the local media seems to love this event, love covering this event, and love getting together to talk about this event.

Everyone was way friendly and one conversation really stood out to me. I was talking with Gil Whiteley from the Denver Daily News and Mile High Sports 1510AM and he said something I can honestly say I will never forget. He ended a particular thought with the statement, "films teach us how to act."

There are so many movies that are just used to entertain or escape, but every now and then you watch one that makes you feel like you actually learned something from it and are a better person because of the experience.

And that's what a good film can do.

You can learn something about yourself, your place in this world, or even the world around you. Obviously it would be ridiculous to base every life decision based on a movie, but it's not absurd to notice certain life lessons from a film here and there and put them into practice.

So that's what I want to do. I'm going to channel my best William Miller and figure out how to cover something a little bit bigger than me for all of you; and find the movies and the moments that teach us how to act.

We've all read event coverage before but I want to do something a little different. I'm going to tell you the stories that I experience but let me know what you want to know.

There are some big time movies playing at the Festival this year that will be released nationally in the next few months. Do you want to get the inside scoop on those if you are unable to attend the Festival? Do you want to know about the smaller independent films?

In the immortal words of Jerry Maguire, help me help you.

I'll be back tomorrow with more logistical info on the Festival (dates, times, places, etc.). The festivities kick off this Thursday (the 12th) and run through Sunday, November 22nd.

Feel free to post your thoughts and suggestions below or you can email me at jmahler47@gmail.com. Can't wait to hear from you and let's get this thing started...

"The League" Review

Since Paulie is out of town this weekend, I thought I’d take this opportunity to let you all in on a pleasant little surprise I’ve found recently. Combining two of my favorite things on the planet, television and fantasy football, the geniuses at the FX network have created a television show about fantasy football.

I heard about the idea for “The League” back in July (because I am a TV nerd and that's what I do during the summer) and thought it was just a concept to be hopefully developed later; so I have to give them credit for getting it together so quickly.

If you haven’t heard about or seen it yet, basically the show follows the lives of five friends who stay connected through fantasy football. They show does a solid job showcasing the different fantasy personalities that you always see in every fantasy league (more on that next week) but it is still trying to develop some well-rounded television characters (an absolute must on any new series).

The highlights from the pilot episode, “The Draft”, included the guys determining the order of their league draft by betting on kids in a sack race at a children’s party and two of the owners (who are also opposing lawyers) negotiating a fantasy-related trade by including a convict’s prison term as part of the deal – with the convict watching the entire process! The over-the-top, way too obsessive dynasty league I've been for the past six years suddenly felt tame in comparison. We've only ever had a threat of physical violence between owners.

The only negatives that I can find so far (beyond the somewhat disturbing sexual scene) are as follows:

(1) fantasy football changes so much during the course of the season that it can be difficult for a show to keep up since it has to adhere to a production schedule that is probably planned months in advance. Some of the fantasy references can feel a little forced – or even generic, and there’s really nothing they can do about that.

(2) Speaking of scheduling issues: FX is running “The League” right after one of their anchor shows, “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” on Thursday nights at 10:30 p.m. Part of the reason I’ve always struggled to get into “Philadelphia” is that it is on the one TV night where I’m booked to the beginning to end of primetime. After I plow through the NBC comedy lineup, my wife takes over and watches “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Private Practice” on DVR. I guess I could go watch it on our little TV in the bedroom, but the glory of HD has ruined me forever. I’d rather read a book than have to follow a show on the little TV (I’m a spoiled jerk, I know).

Other than, I could really get into this show. I do have a policy about not falling too hard to fast for a new series because I’m always afraid of it getting cancelled (I finally breathed a sigh of relief when “Community” got a full season pick-up order and I lived in fear the entire three year run of “Arrested Development”.

I have written countless times that men need something in common to maintain friendships. For some guys it’s cars, for others it’s computers. For me and my friends, it’s always been sports and now that I live 2,000 miles away from them, sports (and fantasy sports in particular) are keeping those bonds strong. Maybe it’s just a “right place, right time” kind of thing, but it’s cool to see a TV show tap into that.

The Good Day and The Bad Day: Part II

(To read Part I, click here)

Ah, The Bad Day.

What makes The Bad Day so bad is the level of expectation. You typically expect things to break one way but The Bad Day takes you someplace worse. And it typically comes right on the heels of The Good Day, so you’re still riding that high and have farther to fall. Here’s the secret to The Bad Day: recognize it early, accept it, hold on for dear life and ride it out.

I knew it was The Bad Day the moment I woke up and glanced at my cell phone.

Even though, it was already assumed, I was expecting the official “You don’t have to come to work” text from my boss.

Key word there: “expecting”.

There was indeed a text from my boss, but it was not the one I was looking for. We had to be in work by 11:00 a.m and this development caused me to absolutely lose my mind. You see I have this problem were I keep wanting to use logic and reason in my everyday life and it gets me into trouble more often than not.

I just could not understand why we were sent home early on the non-bad weather day (Wednesday) if we had to come in at all on the scary-bad weather day (Thursday). My brain is still smoking from trying to figure this one out. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to work the full day on Wednesday than to come in at all on Thursday?

There I go again, trying to make sense of something.

My bad.

As I said yesterday, my Wife and I love the snow and partly came to Denver to see more of it. We just didn’t realize that we were expected to be out in it.

It legitimately took me a half hour just to dig my car out of the snow fortress that had been built around it. Oh, and I want to send special thanks out to the snow plow guy that came down our street to clear the road but shoveled more snow around my car.

I can’t use your clear road if I can’t get to my car, buddy.

There was more snow on the ground that morning than I have seen probably in the last 10 years combined. And since we don’t have a shovel yet (now at the top of our “To Get” list) I was literally using my hands and feet to throw and kick the snow off and around my car.

Once I had exhausted myself liberating my vehicle from its frozen cocoon, it was time for the real fun to begin.

Driving.

Here’s a quick recap of the convo that took place between me and The Camel that morning:

Camel: Whatcha doin’?

Me: C’mon, we have to go to work?

Camel: Oh, so I’m taking you to the local bus station or something?

Me: No, we’re both going to the office?

Camel: What is the “we” business all of a sudden?

Me: It won’t be that bad, let’s go.

Camel: WON’T BE THAT BAD?! Open your eyes man! It’s like we’ve been hit by a frozen apocalypse. We have a better chance finding the rebel base on Hoth than we do of getting to your work. We’re gonna be eaten alive by that friggin’ snow monster from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer before we…

As I’m sure you can imagine, this went on for a while and most of it got to be unprintable.

Beyond the Camel’s apprehensions, I knew we were immediately in trouble by the color of the roads. Most roads in most of America are a dark grayish color right? Oh, what I would have given for dark grayish that morning.

Everything was white.

I felt like we had hoped into Doc Brown’s Delorean and had gone back to the prairie days of my neighborhood before there were roads.

Only this time, where we were going we did need roads.

I held on to my steering wheel for dear life as SUVs blew by me on what felt like an iced down Autobahn. When someone from my office told me I need to get an SUV if I’m going to stay in Colorado, it was all I could do to mention I’d be happy to as soon as our company supplied us with one or paid me more to get one; because other than going to work, there would never been another reason for me to need that type of vehicle.

I can’t complain too much, because our office decided to close down early again – this time at 4:00 p.m. So, tell me again why we had to…

Oh wait, I’m getting lightheaded.

After riding the I-25 slip and slide all the way back home, I limped back into our apartment just in time to see my beloved ball team get waxed in Game 2 of the World Series (I knew that was going to happen the moment I woke up. The karma had been irrevocably altered).

Like I said yesterday, The Good Day and The Bad Day usually happen close together to maintain the overall balance of life. If you ever find yourself in The Good Day, enjoy it for all it’s worth but brace for yourself for what lurks around the corner. Once you get stuck in The Bad Day, recognize it, accept it and know that it can’t get much worse.

I woke up last Friday, had a decent day at work, hung out with some new friends that night and kicked off a pretty decent weekend. It wasn't a great day or even The Good Day, it was just a good day. I’ve never been happier to see a six in my life.

The Good Day and The Bad Day: Part I

If you asked the people around you to rank their day to day lives on a scale of one-to-10, my guess is that most would fall into the Jim Halpert four-to-six range. If you’re a few minutes late to work in the morning and everything backs up from there, it’s a four. If you hit that string of green lights and you’re favorite song comes on the radio, it’s a six.

That’s where most of us live our lives: in the middle.

Occasionally something really good will happen and your day will spike up to an eight or disaster will strike and you drop to a two (note: weddings, births, deaths, job loss, etc. are extremes that run off the chart – we’re talking about normal day-to-day operations, here).

But every so often, you’ll wander into that Michael Scott bizarro world and you’ll hit a ten or – heaven forbid – you’ll plummet to a zero. Like a Shareef appearance, they are extremely rare and you never know when they’re coming. The only conclusive fact that we’ve been able to determine is that those types of days usually happen close together as to maintain the overall balance of life.

Everyone has good days and everyone has bad days, but the ten and the zero deserve grander monikers. They are, respectively, The Good Day and The Bad Day.

And last week, I lived through both.

Ah, The Good Day.

What makes The Good Day so good is the lack of expectation. Too many times, we look forward to a day and it never seems to quite live up to the way we pictured it in our brains. Again, it's not about certain events you had planned going well, it's about things breaking for you in a way that you couldn't have imagined. That’s the secret of The Good Day: just let it come to you.

The start of last Wednesday felt like the start of any other day. I knew it had the potential to be a good one, but I was smart enough to temper my hopes early on. That Wednesday was the 10 year anniversary of the coolest thing I’ve ever done, I had tickets to the Nuggets season opener against Utah, and it was – most importantly – Game 1 of the World Series; featuring my favorite team of all time playing against the one sports franchise I despise most of all.

A pretty solid lineup to say the least, but I had to figure out a few things before I could start running around anointing it as The Good Day.

First, I had to get through work; which sometimes can be a breeze and other times can bring choppy waters. Then I had to figure out my viewing of the World Series in relation to the Nuggets game. The baseball game was slated to start at 6:00 p.m. (I love Mountain Standard Time) and the basketball game was scheduled for 8:30 p.m. My original plan was to head downtown after work to watch the Series at one of the sports bars right next to the Pepsi Center and then walk into the game if and when I felt comfortable with what was happening in the Bronx.

But then The Good Day gods smiled upon me and added a little bonus: snow. Growing up by the beach, I haven’t seen a whole lot of it in my lifetime. It’s actually another part of the reason why my Wife and I chose to move out here. We love snow.

The snow started accumulating so quickly on Wednesday, my office graciously let us go home early at 1:00 p.m. (and get paid for the rest of the day!). But now I had an interesting little dilemma: how was I going to kill five hours before the World Series/Nuggets night downtown. In a moment of inspiration, I e-mailed my Nuggets ticket agent and found out the team offers redemption nights if you can’t make it to one of the games that you have in your ticket plan. It just so happens that one of those redemption nights is going to be when the Nuggets play the Oklahoma City Kevin Durants and one of my favorite players in the association, Kevin Durant.

Done deal.

I hated missing opening night, but now I got to (A) go home and enjoy the snow, (B) watch the entire World Series game without feeling any pressure to miss any of it and (C) now I get to go see the Nugs play one of my favorite basketball players on the planet… for free!

I could feel The Good Day momentum mounting.

Later that night, my Wife almost had to administer life saving measures to me as my brain and body could not handle the euphoria of witnessing my favorite athlete in the universe, Chase Utley, hit not one but TWO home runs in Game 1 of the World Series. This then led to a successful negotiation process with my Wife to guarantee the right to name a future potential son Chase Mahler.

As I flipped back and forth between Cliff Lee put the finishing touches on an all-time World Series masterpiece and the Melo and the Nuggets taking it to the Jazz, I stretched out on my recliner and just basked in the glory of The Good Day.

We were supposed to get another foot or so of snow, so since we had been sent home early that day, I knew there was no chance of going to work on Thursday. As I got into bed, I didn’t even set an alarm. I peacefully drifted off to blissful slumber; having no comprehension of what lied in store for me just on the other side of the night:

The dreaded Bad Day...

(Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow!)


*Check out a new column every Monday morning, here and at INDenverTimes.com

The Coolest Thing I've Ever Done

I've been blessed to do a lot of cool stuff in my life.

But today is the 10 year anniversary of the coolest thing I've ever done (HOW CAN IT BE TEN YEARS ALREADY??).

On October 28, 1999 at 9:00 p.m., I stepped out onto a dark stage to the roar of a packed crowd - and with absolutely NO exaggeration - my life changed forever.

I think that's what puts it over the top. While I've certainly do a lot of other cool things, nothing has so impacted the rest of my existence the way that it did that night.

One thing still jumps out at me about the whole process:

The absolute confidence/arrogance we had to pull it off.

My buddy Jon and I started that semester of college off with a game plan. We were both sophomores who had transferred into Christopher Newport University from other colleges, so we didn't really know anything about the school or anyone other than our buddy Matt (from high school) and his buddy Jesse.

I think it was during the first week of classes that we walked into the Student Life office and requested to speak with someone, anyone, in charge.

Phyllis Ayers took us into her office and we just straight out told her we wanted to do a Saturday Night Live type of comedy show on campus.

The one thing I'll never figure out is why she believed in us immediately.

But she did.

She said the school couldn't help us fund it or advertise for it, but she would put us in touch with scheduling and we could even request the University's main auditorium (at the time) if the times worked out.

That was all we needed. We just needed that one person in charge to believe in us and we were set.

From there Jon, Jesse, Matt and I started writing sketches and Matt started introducing us to everyone he knew so that Jon and I could find our cast.

We never held one audition, we just started talking to people. Our two main criteria was (1) who was naturally funny and (2) who was popular (so they would be an instant draw for an audience).

To this day, I've never been that sociable.

The cast fell together pretty easy, the scripts were actually pretty good, we just needed to get people to the show.

Phyllis had told us in that first meeting that since CNU was still pretty much a commuter school, that students really didn't come out for events. She told us to expect 50 people at most. The auditorium held 300. 50 people in a 300 seat auditorium would have been murder for a comedy show. We knew we had to pack it out.

I still think the advertising scheme Jon and I came up with is the best I've ever seen.

About a month out from the show, we started hanging neon orange fliers and posters ALL OVER CAMPUS. Each one had a different joke or witty phrase (basically just bumper sticker humor) and then we had the date 10.28.99 on the bottom of the poster.

Each week, we would hang a different batch of jokes and add a little more information. I think the 2nd week, we had the time and the date, the third week we had the time, date, and place, and then the week of we just advertised it as the show, "CNU TONIGHT, Gaines Theater, 9:00 p.m., 10.28.99."

The night before the show, Jon and I went to EVERY DORM room in Santaro Hall (there was only one dorm at CNU at the time) and hung up a neon orange post-it note on every door in the building with the show information on it.

We had no idea if it was going to work, but we knew we had to try it.

We were all back stage and hear a lot of people, but we just didn't know how many. The first sketch started with me walking out and setting up the skit and when I walked out, I couldn't see because of the lights shining down on me.

For the rest of me life, I will get chills when I think about the sound I heard (I'm getting them now as I type).

Just a roar of applause and cheers and laughs - and I hadn't said a word.

As my eyes adjusted, I could see the place was packed. Not only was every seat filled, but people were sitting in the aisles and standing along the back and side walls.

It was SO LOUD, I literally couldn't speak and hear myself for three full minutes. I even stopped trying for a while and looked to Jon who was standing out of sight on the side and we just laughed at each other.

We knew we had done it.

The show ended and the dean of students stopped up as asked us to meet her in the office the next day. She wanted to book us for two more shows in the spring semester.

We all know where it goes from there.

Jon and I started the Campus Activity Board, I got to do the Letterman internship, and I even moved out the Los Angeles for a day to be a TV writer.

But it's not those things that are the direct result from doing CNU Tonight that I'm proud of.

It's the attitude that I now know that I can do anything I really work towards.

It gave me the push to do Letterman, drive to L.A., drive home, go back to school, try the magazine, move to Denver without a job, get married, etc., etc., etc.

I've now failed more times than I've succeeded, but here's the catch: I'm not afraid to fail. THAT'S what I got from doing that little show in Newport News, Virginia.

That's what makes it the coolest thing I've ever done. It changed who I am in a way nothing else has or could.

Special credit needs to go out to:

- Colin Castelow, who served as a mentor and advisor during our run with the show, AND originally had the idea when I was a senior in high school. When he brought up that day, I never could get it out of my head.

- Chris Rice who we handed the show over and kept it going for the rest of his time at CNU. If we didn't have him, the show would have died immediately (I don't know if the show is still going now - I know it was as recent as two years ago, but I can't find anything about it now on the CNU website).

- That original cast. I've lost touch with most of them, but Jesse, Matt, Jon and I are still solid friends. It really was a great blend of different personalities that brought so much to the table. I always appreciated their devotion and commitment. That's what got the plane off the ground for sure.

- Obviously Phyllis in Student Life made our lives so easy and gave us whatever we wanted (within reason of course) and Ryan in scheduling. Those were our girls!

- My dad. I still love the logo he designed (featured at the top of this post) and the t-shirts he helped me create. I saw one of those of t-shirts in downtown Norfolk about four years ago and it was a pretty cool feeling that something we had come up with together was still being worn. In fact, I'm wearing my show t-shirt right now.

- And of course Jon. I've had other really, really good friends in the time since, but I've never had a BEST friend since him in the CNU Tonight days. He's married with two kids in Maine (my gosh, when did we get old enough to have two kids) and I'm married out here in Colorardo. We don't talk nearly enough and life has certainly taken us in different directions. We've talked about it many times, but for some reason Jon never got enough of the credit in regards to the show or even the CAB transition. He knows I know this: NONE OF IT would have ever happened without him.

I called him this morning and wished him a happy anniversary. I don't know what he - or the rest of the original cast - have going on today or if they even remember what we did 10 years ago.

But I do know that I'll be seeing you tonight...

Origins of Phrases - Need Your Help!

I'm tinkering with a column idea about the origins or everyday phrases that we use and I need your help!

I'm going to give you a list of common phrases below and you have ANY thoughts or educated guesses on how they might have gotten started (and no cheating!), feel free to let me know. Answer on any or all of them.

Also, if you do/don't want me to use your name in a potential column, let me know that as well...

Thanks! Can't wait to hear your answers (feel free to comment below are send me an email at jmahler47@gmail.com).

Phrases:

- STEAL SOMEONE'S THUNDER

- CAUGHT RED-HANDED

- HAVE A SCREW LOOSE

- I'VE GOT A FROG IN MY THROAT

- MEET A DEADLINE

- SECOND STRING

- PULL SOMEONE'S LEG

- RAINING CATS AND DOGS

The Denim Dilemma

I need a new pair of jeans.

(I know what you’re thinking: “What? Really? I waited all weekend for denim drama?” But just hear me out and I’ll make it worth your while or we’ll give you your money back. Guaranteed.)

I’ve been told that when most human beings need a new pair jeans they are just able to go out a store and buy them and then wear them.

For as long as I can remember, jean shopping somehow always turns into an elaborate, painful process for yours truly. What makes buying a new pair of jeans so difficult for me (or, the reason I make buying a new pair of jeans so difficult) is that I’m both very picky about the style and the fit as well as being very cost conscious.

You can have your cake, I want my jeans to be cheap and to and fit right too.

My reasoning was justified the process this past spring when I found the perfect pair at a local department store. They fit better than I could have ever imagined and only cost $30 (and you thought that introduction column was just a throw-away. All part of the plan, my friends. All part of the plan).

But a funny thing has happened ever since I got married and have had delicious home cooked meals prepared for me every night: my jeans have starting shrinking. I can’t figure it out, but it is getting harder and harder to get into my favorite jeans now.

Must have something to do with the altitude, right?

Last week I stopped by the same department store to pick up a pair of the same jeans, just in a slightly larger size, but was not ready for what I was about to encounter. For some inexplicable reason that will forever escape my comprehension, stores always think they have to get cute and “upgrade” everything. In this case, the particular brand of jeans that I had originally bought – and fallen in love with – has now been replaced by a Premium collection.

So it’s the same brand, but it supposedly better.

But here’s the catch: it’s not.

I reluctantly tried on the new style, thinking it couldn’t be too much different than the original.

It was.

I’m really hoping this is just a temporary fad, but in case you haven’t noticed, men’s jeans are really tight these days. I felt like I was trying on a pair of women’s jeans because there just wasn’t enough… uh… room. And these were supposedly a larger size than the ones I already own.

I raced home from the store and immediately drew up a battle plan. I knew there had to be a remaining pair of my jeans at one of this store’s many convenient area locations, so I literally mapped out every branch of the store within a 20 mile radius of my house and lied in wait for the weekend.

This past Saturday morning, my Wife and I woke up early and packed snacks, blankets, and bottles of water for the search because we had no idea how long we’d be gone. We were in it for the long haul.

We got to the first location on our map and began digging through their racks and racks and stacks and stacks of jeans. Do you have any idea how many different types of jeans there are now?

As far as styles go, there is bootcut, cargo, carpenter, loose, low rise, loose-low rise, relaxed, slim and straight.Just to name a few.

Once you’ve chosen your style, you have to select your color and wash. You can have an acid washed blue or a tinted dark blue. If that doesn’t suit you, what about a vintage medium or blue or whisker washed black?

At this point I just wanted to find a pair of regular, blue jeans, but now realize that I have no concept of what that would even begin to look like.

And sure we definitely found a few remaining pair of my jeans at most of the stores, but they were always the right width but wrong length or wrong width and right length. My Wife even almost talked me into a similar brand that almost fit the same. We got as far as the check-out line before I finally came to my senses.

I couldn’t settle for a consolation pair of jeans. I would resent them every time I put them on. Once you’ve tasted steak, it’s hard to go back to bologna.

Despondent and dejected, I limped home and crashed into bed; ready to give up on the night. Like Michael Corleone at the end of "Godfather: Part II", I stared off into space, slowly accepting my new cruel reality: for the rest of my life, I was doomed to either wear my jeans that no longer fit or settle for an inferior product.

In that moment, my Wife sat down next to me, opened up her laptop, went to the store’s website, found the right jeans in the right size and style and placed the order.

Really?

Well… sure, anyone can do it the easy way.

Later my style-conscious buddy Paulie was laughing at my trials and tribulation and asked why I can’t just go to an actual jean store and spend a little more for an actual brand of jeans. I asked him how he can live with himself spending more on a pair of jeans than most people spend on rent.

“One of us obviously has a problem,” he said. “I’m just not sure who.”



*Check out a new column every Monday morning here and at INDenverTimes.com