Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Watching The Bachelor with My Bride

Last night I was relaxing in my recliner watching the beginning of the Fiesta Bowl between Boise St. and TCU when my Wife and her friend commandeered the remote and flipped the channel over to ABC for the season premiere of The Bachelor .

I could have easily gotten up and gone into the other room to watch the game on our smaller television set but I’ve become such a HD snob, I was actually willing to suffer through the Bachelor and record the game to watch afterwards (and I'm still clinging to the misguided belief that this was a good way to stretch myself as a television reporter).

Besides, The Bachelor couldn’t be THAT bad.

Could it??

I think my Wife and her friend got a small kick out of watching one of their favorite shows with a fresh perspective through my eyes. Every aspect of the show confounded my entire basis of thinking and reasoning. I’m now interested to know if this is how women feel when they watch something geared specifically towards the masculine demographic, because my brain could not fully process what my eyes were taking in.

Here are a couple quick thoughts that came to me during the two hour torture session:

- This season’s bachelor (“Jake”) is a pilot so the full title of this season is The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love and, yes, the 80’s song of the same name is a brutal one to get stuck in your head.

- By my count, in the first episode alone there were 8,642 pilot/co-pilot references, puns, play on words and one very inappropriate (and disturbing) landing strip joke.

- Jake is already giving Matthew McConaughey a run for his money for the Most Scenes Without Wearing a Shirt award.

- Oh and was Jake nervous? Because he failed to mention it if he was.

- I know the girls want to stand out on their first meeting with the bachelor, but lame jokes and (I can’t even believe I’m typing this) props never make for a good first impression.

- On the flip side, the blondes vs. brunettes pickup football game was not the worst thing in the world.

- Even I have to admit that watching Michelle mentally derail was entertaining. Glad Jake kept her around (despite the fact that she was the ONE person his friends told him to cut loose).

- I know that the producers (heavily) influence who the Bachelor keeps, but this was ridiculous. If he thinks he’s going to be able to find “true love” out of the clown show leftovers he chose then they won’t even be able to find the black box from the emotional plane crash he’s headed for (see, I can do it too!).

- To further prove this point, did you see yesterday where it was released that one of the contestants winds up having a little tryst with a producer of the show? Ouch. I don’t want to say that looks bad on Jake, but… buddy, c’mon! Then again, it might be the first actual relationship the reality series has ever produced (man, I’m on fire!).

I’m going to quit while I’m ahead. But I’m interested in what all the ladies (and other guys that were forced to watch) thought about the premiere – my Wife loved it by the way. I have an uneasy feeling that The Bachelor might sneak his way into our regular Monday night TV Group while we kill time between How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory since half of our group is of the feminine persuasion.


I miss Monday Night Football already.

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